It all starts last Friday, when the class ended at 12.30 p.m. and the Muslims got to do their prayers. Well, the Muslimahs' are free to go, as they don't have to pray at the mosque, as the prayer's at the mosque during that time are specific only to the Men, the Muslims. And so, at that time I met my roommate, which I cared for so much, and damn it, I love her so much. Love her as a friend ok? I value her presence in my life, the highest I could give a friend, and so I swore, the very day I knew her, that I'll give anything, even my life, to protect this friend. To protect her in every way. I would hurt myself, before I hurt her. And it pains me to see her exhausted, after a day of studying. I respect her in every manner. And that Friday, I have extra class at 3.00 to 5.00 p.m.. Only the thought of seeing her again make me awake during those hours of extra class.
But as it happened, I only get to see her packing her things. She's going to the 'musolla' (small mosque) she says. And I'm happy for her, as it is a good deed to go and pray at the 'musolla'. But then, she added, "I'll be back late. I'm not coming back straight here after prayers. I'm going to a friend's room". To tell you the truth, I was really down upon hearing this, 'cause I was hoping to talk to her and see her smile and hear her laugh. It was like...uhh...without seeing her smile for a day, I'll feel really down that day, to tell you the truth. And so, a few minutes later, she left. And I cried on my pillow, 'cause I love her, and she didn't even care about it. I know she'll be happy with her friends, and how I wish I could make her happy like they did. How I wish I could make her smile and laugh and at ease like they did...And so I let her go. She went then.
And that night, I wait for her return. Bored waiting, i went out of the room and make a tour around three blocks. I ran up and down the stairs, four storeys mind you. And I follow a cat and watch it play with the bird it had caught earlier. And later, I've got to clean up the mess, as the kitty didn't want to eat it. At 11.00 something, I became frantic, afraid something had happened to my beloved friend. A few minutes later, my phone rang, and a notice said that I got a new message. It was a quotation about friendship from an old school friend. And I forwarded that message to her. She replied a few minutes later.
"I won't be back tonight. Sorry. I'll sleep at my friend's room".
I was...shocked. Struck dumb. But I act cool. As if it was nothing. As if I felt nothing. No hurt, no pain, no nothing, 'cause I know, she's happy with them. And I smiled, and replied in the best way I could, so that she can't detect what I'm feeling. And so I replied :
"Last minute decision huh? I have done more than three tours around three blocks waiting for your return. I thought I'd ask you to help me clean up this kitty mess. Hehe. Send my regards to your friends over there. And don't sleep to late. You studying over there?"
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we were nearing our first semester examination. I don't like examinations...She replied back,saying that they weren't studying, and only fool around. And so the night passed with me sleeping as my tears rolled down my cheeks onto my pillow.
The next morning, I woke up at 6.00 a.m.. I quickly got up and took a bath, as I want to go jogging before a lot of people woke up. I don't like crowds. That's me. But I could handle it if I'm doing it for my friends, such as buying things for them. But not if I'm doing it for myself. At 7.00 something, I was ready and I took off, taking the loneliest road I could think of. I was hoping against hope that my roommate will go jogging too, and that I might ran into her during one of my rounds. I was wrong. I didn't met her or any of her friends. I stop jogging when the sun was high up, and I was really sweaty. I made for the cafeteria and met my old school friend there and we had breakfast together. Oh, I've skip another part. Before I met my old friend, I called my roommate first. It was unacceptable, to think that she hadn't wake up. She answered her phone. I couldn't tell you how glad I am when I hear her voice. And when I asked her whether she woke up late or not, she just laugh and said that she woke up early. It was soothing to hear the laughter in her voice, and I know she's happy, very happy, but I can't help feeling a little sad, because she didn't remember me or her room at all. She hung up.
She returned near afternoon I think. I don't remember much on the second day. It's Saturday. She was doing her own stuff when she got back and didn't even smile or talk to me. Just going on her life as if I wasn't there. And all of a sudden, I got a message saying that I have additional Physics Tutorial class at a small lecture hall. At 2.00 to 4.00 p.m.. I didn't intend to go, because I have set up my mind to relax that day. But then, if I didn't go, I'll lose something very precious, a teacher's teaching. And so I went, with the hope that when I return, I'll be able to chat with my roommate and maybe have dinner together. When the clock neared 4.00 p.m., I send a message to her, asking if we could eat dinner together. She said ok, and she wanted to pray first. I told her that I don't know the exact time my class would end. Maybe it'll be extended to 4.30 something. She said that she's simply starving, as she didn't have anything, and only one nasi lemak for breakfast. I didn't want to be the reason she has to withstand her hunger for a moment longer, so I said, you go ahead. Eat first. I'll be late. Just go and eat.
My class ended late. I went back to the hostel, acting a fool along the way. Running and skipping and jumping till I reach the cafeteria. I bought some food for dinner and went up. She was there, thank God she was there. But once again, she was occupied with her tasks and I didn't like the idea of disturbing her. I waited for the right moment. But it never came, for at 8.00 something, her friend came, along with the roommates. The same friend she went for a sleep-over last night. I was shocked, not to mention devastated, because we all know that as we share the same room, it is essential to asks permissions from the other roommates if we have our friends coming along. I don't mind it if it was two people, but there were four of them, two are her old school friends, the other two, one of her school friend's roommates. I watched the way she laughed and smiled at them. Especially the way she let herself go with the unknown roommates. Unknown to me that is. Well, she never laugh like that with us, as if she'd created a barrier between herself and her own roommates, but what's with these other people? She can be herself with other people's roommates but not with us?? Damn it!! I swore that night I was on the verge of shouting at her, but I kept quite, not wanting to embarrass her or to ruin her fun moment. I slept early that night, with her friends' and her laughter ringing in my ears. And of course, for the second night, tears rolled down my cheeks again.
I woke up early that the next day, Sunday. I went jogging again, and still haven't woke up when I return from my rounds. She slept on till near noon, then woke up, took a bath and went out for lunch with her two old school friends. I knew, because I asked her. And then, when she returned, she was packing her books into her bag, and my question was answered when another roommate asked where's she going. She said she's going to a Chemistry class with her friends at the lecture hall.
"I won't be back tonight. Sorry. I'll sleep at my friend's room".
I was...shocked. Struck dumb. But I act cool. As if it was nothing. As if I felt nothing. No hurt, no pain, no nothing, 'cause I know, she's happy with them. And I smiled, and replied in the best way I could, so that she can't detect what I'm feeling. And so I replied :
"Last minute decision huh? I have done more than three tours around three blocks waiting for your return. I thought I'd ask you to help me clean up this kitty mess. Hehe. Send my regards to your friends over there. And don't sleep to late. You studying over there?"
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we were nearing our first semester examination. I don't like examinations...She replied back,saying that they weren't studying, and only fool around. And so the night passed with me sleeping as my tears rolled down my cheeks onto my pillow.
The next morning, I woke up at 6.00 a.m.. I quickly got up and took a bath, as I want to go jogging before a lot of people woke up. I don't like crowds. That's me. But I could handle it if I'm doing it for my friends, such as buying things for them. But not if I'm doing it for myself. At 7.00 something, I was ready and I took off, taking the loneliest road I could think of. I was hoping against hope that my roommate will go jogging too, and that I might ran into her during one of my rounds. I was wrong. I didn't met her or any of her friends. I stop jogging when the sun was high up, and I was really sweaty. I made for the cafeteria and met my old school friend there and we had breakfast together. Oh, I've skip another part. Before I met my old friend, I called my roommate first. It was unacceptable, to think that she hadn't wake up. She answered her phone. I couldn't tell you how glad I am when I hear her voice. And when I asked her whether she woke up late or not, she just laugh and said that she woke up early. It was soothing to hear the laughter in her voice, and I know she's happy, very happy, but I can't help feeling a little sad, because she didn't remember me or her room at all. She hung up.
She returned near afternoon I think. I don't remember much on the second day. It's Saturday. She was doing her own stuff when she got back and didn't even smile or talk to me. Just going on her life as if I wasn't there. And all of a sudden, I got a message saying that I have additional Physics Tutorial class at a small lecture hall. At 2.00 to 4.00 p.m.. I didn't intend to go, because I have set up my mind to relax that day. But then, if I didn't go, I'll lose something very precious, a teacher's teaching. And so I went, with the hope that when I return, I'll be able to chat with my roommate and maybe have dinner together. When the clock neared 4.00 p.m., I send a message to her, asking if we could eat dinner together. She said ok, and she wanted to pray first. I told her that I don't know the exact time my class would end. Maybe it'll be extended to 4.30 something. She said that she's simply starving, as she didn't have anything, and only one nasi lemak for breakfast. I didn't want to be the reason she has to withstand her hunger for a moment longer, so I said, you go ahead. Eat first. I'll be late. Just go and eat.
My class ended late. I went back to the hostel, acting a fool along the way. Running and skipping and jumping till I reach the cafeteria. I bought some food for dinner and went up. She was there, thank God she was there. But once again, she was occupied with her tasks and I didn't like the idea of disturbing her. I waited for the right moment. But it never came, for at 8.00 something, her friend came, along with the roommates. The same friend she went for a sleep-over last night. I was shocked, not to mention devastated, because we all know that as we share the same room, it is essential to asks permissions from the other roommates if we have our friends coming along. I don't mind it if it was two people, but there were four of them, two are her old school friends, the other two, one of her school friend's roommates. I watched the way she laughed and smiled at them. Especially the way she let herself go with the unknown roommates. Unknown to me that is. Well, she never laugh like that with us, as if she'd created a barrier between herself and her own roommates, but what's with these other people? She can be herself with other people's roommates but not with us?? Damn it!! I swore that night I was on the verge of shouting at her, but I kept quite, not wanting to embarrass her or to ruin her fun moment. I slept early that night, with her friends' and her laughter ringing in my ears. And of course, for the second night, tears rolled down my cheeks again.
I woke up early that the next day, Sunday. I went jogging again, and still haven't woke up when I return from my rounds. She slept on till near noon, then woke up, took a bath and went out for lunch with her two old school friends. I knew, because I asked her. And then, when she returned, she was packing her books into her bag, and my question was answered when another roommate asked where's she going. She said she's going to a Chemistry class with her friends at the lecture hall.
